Revealed: Project Ziggurat

I hear you out there.  Yes, I know you've been checking in to see if I've published the pictures of Project Ziggurat. 

Well, your faithfulness is now rewarded.  I present to you, with no small amount of pride, Project Ziggurat (or: The Cake that Ate a Blog).

Aside from a little cardboard and a few wooden dowels, this thing is completely edible.  It took 60 cups of rice cereal...8 bags of marshmallows...5 pounds of fondant...2 chocolate cakes...an entire batch of buttercream icing...a vat of royal icing...and a great deal of supporting infrastructure. 

The top tier, as well as the bottom two tiers, are made entirely out of cereal treat.  He wanted an epic cake, but was only feeding a handful.  So, we went the fake-cake route, and only the 8" and 6" tiers are delicious chocolate cake with vanilla buttercream.
I had ordered a brick texture mat to make the fondant work easier.  But, alas, the mail was slow, so all those bricks are done by hand.

Then the piping...oh my goodness...the piping.  Let's hope I ge this right...

First we have Arabic:

Then Hebrew:

Next is Paleo-Hebrew or Proto-Canaanite:

Then Middle Egyptian (which was almost tossed for a few choice words Amy had to describe just what she thought of near eastern languages as her hand was cramping up in protest):

And finally, Akkadian or Neo-Assyrian Cuneiform:

And what does it all say? 

Josh is 33. 

Actually, the part I've shown you here probably just says "Josh is..." The text wraps around the three sides not bearing the stairs.  Needless to say, I'm happy to write in modern English, without the need to draw birds, triangles or other pictures to get my point across.  Heaven help me if we are ever forced to learn Chinese. 

But, truly, my brother Josh is celebrating 33 years, and this was his choice for his party this year.  I hope it makes the trip up to Trinity Evangelical Divinity School in one piece, where it can be enjoyed by his Biblical Archaelological and Near-Eastern Linguist type friends.  Yes, he really is that smart:).

Happy Birthday, Josh!  I love you dearly, as you can tell by the herculean effort I made for your cake.  I hope you and your friends enjoy it as much as I enjoyed the challenge of making it!